Sunday, July 20, 2014

Male Chauvinist Or Not



As my readers know, I'm a lover of quotes.  As a single woman, I commented on the quote above. I basically said I loved it.  Well here's a quote for you, "One problem with being single is that it exposes you to people that don't measure up to you. The longer you stay single, the wider the divide between you and your ideal partner. Praying and playing in relationship may not be as important as being a survivalist. The fittest get married." 

This was a comment from a Nigerian Architect, Creative Writer, and Politician.  His response actually brought back memories of a Nigerian pilot that I dated for several years, now that's another story. I'm not going to group all men into the same category, but the thought process is typical.  I was somewhat offended by the comment.  He states that he is a Politician.  If he was campaigning in this country he damn sure wouldn't get my vote.  The only vote that he would get from me is to be voted off the island.  When I thought about his comment it sounded somewhat like a male chauvinist comment.  I couldn't contain myself so I responded. 

Here is my response to him, "You can be exposed to people who don't measure up regardless of your marital status. People come into your life for a reason or a season.  Just learn from it and keep it moving. The fittest get married - People can choose to get married or not get married. That doesn't make them fit or unfit."

I know people who are married that don't measure up to my standards and I don't see them as an ideal mate for anyone. So the longer you stay single, your chances of finding your ideal mate lessens? Could it be the woman will be seen as an old maid, nobody will want her after 30? Being a survivor is more important than praying or playing?  Most women in that country do get married to survive.  The fittest get married? Some of the most unstable people that I have ever met or seen in my life are married or have been married.  Child rapists, murders, robbers, white collar criminals and the list goes on.  How does your marital status define how fit your are? He probably wants to give me 50 lashes for even commenting on his ludicrous thought process.  In his eyes, I probably should not even be on social media.  I should be weaving a rug, cooking over a kettle, herding goats or balancing a basket on my head. You have to be fit for these chores.   

We had several exchanges before we finally cleared the air.  I guess the bottom line ended up being a a cultural difference.  Men control their wives in Nigeria for the most  part.  He stated that his wife depends on him for everything including advancing her career and opportunities.  Oh really!  

My final response was I live in America.  We choose to marry or not marry in this country. There are people who have waited a life time to find their ideal mate, and many had to weed out quite a few before their blessing.  That doesn't make them unfit.  There should be no age limit or time frame in which a person should be married.  It's taken 35 years to meet someone who could potentially be my soul mate, but that will be for me to decide. Welcome to America. Your thoughts.  


  1. My thoughts -- I, too am glad I live in America and we make our own choices. Sometimes we make the right ones and sometimes we make choices we end up learning from even if they weren't right. I do think it is a cultural thing and like I said -- I'm glad I was lucky enough to be born in America!

    1. We do live in the greatest country in the world. The freedom to choose and not conform to other's standards is priceless. He stated that his wife is completely dependent on him and he advances her career and opportunities. Sounds like control rather than being supported by a partner. I too am lucky to be born in America.


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